Speak no evil

When do you say out loud the things that hurt you most? Do you suck it up and sit down, afraid to hurt someone's feelings? Or do you tell them that what they've done really hurt you, hurt your feel-bads? I didn't say anything, because I was afraid to hurt her feelings, so I said Thank you so much for helping me, and I walked away. And then I got in my car and cried all the way home about it. I hate that deep-down belief that it's okay for me to be hurt, as long as the other party walks away un-wounded. I mean, I really, really don't like that about myself. Now I know that we all have choices, etc. That's part of daily American verbage: You always have a choice. So I get that, and I get that the only way to stop the hurt would be to put on my big girl knickers and state my problem, air it out, let 'em know how I really feel, yada, yada, yada. But I didn't, I can't and I won't. And it's that part of me that I can't change, because of that damned deep rooted belief that I need to turn the other cheek and not say one word.

PDA

I watched a special on Nightline tonight about the "Hugging Saint" known as Amma. She's hugged more than 30 million people worldwide and has this huge mission to show the world what Unconditional Love is, in its' most simplistic form. (She was totally in Theta and IMO looked just like an Indian version of Vianna). It was the way that she looked at every person she hugged. And the way she hugged them, like my mum hugs me. And so I cried. Like a baby.
          I miss her hugging me. I miss her cuddling me. And so what if I'm over 30?  I can still snuggle my mum when I crave that feeling of being wanted, cherished and loved. Ladies, be grateful if your husband hugs you or ever holds you close, when or if your mom can't, or won't. Men, get on it if you haven't already. I say this only because although I married a great man, he is, in essence, the Marlboro Man. Tough, gritty and distant. He doesn't talk about his feelings, doesn't act like he cares about yours and laughs when you're in a pissy mood because he thinks that helps. He shouldn't think, it'd be easier on all of us :) So go hug somebody. Let them know you love them, you care about them, you kinda like them, you're sorry, just because, whatever works. Just  get it done already and know that if you think they need it...they probably do.